{Gratitude} Tuesday

                

Lately, I've been thankful for great weather & spending time in my favorite place.

For raspberry italian sodas from Cup A Joe.

For the chance to watch the Athens lax team kill it in their tournament. 

For watching this sweet old man read to his wife every week at Global Village Coffee.

For John 10:28, I mean DANG straight from Jesus' mouth--we can not be snatched from His hand, we are HIS.

And for m&ms + peanut butter #college.

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." -Ann Voskamp

happy tuesday homies

The Beginning

ATHENS DRIVE HIGH SCHOOL! My new home, the very place God chose for me to pour out to the broken hearted. How EXCITING! It is still unreal that I am officially a Young Life leader. I am jumping into campaigners, club, and contact work and it's coming quick. 

It's scary and it's uncomfortable but what a privilege it is to be able to be included in what God is doing at this school. I've tasted and seen that the Lord is so so good, and I am so urgent for these high school girls to taste and see that the Lord is good. But, I know that it will take time to build relationships with these friends, to earn the right to be trusted by them and the right to be heard. It's a process and it takes effort. 

God brought me from life to death, and yet I still fear that He can't prepare the way for me through this high school. And then I have to stop and I have to remind myself that He absolutely can and will prepare the way for me. He's gone before me into Athens and into the hearts of these girls. There is nothing to fear. I serve a powerful God who can do anything in me. 

I am truly in awe of how the Lord is working in this ministry and I am so stoked to see the mighty work He does through all of these leaders! Excited for this journey and what lies ahead. Go Jags. 

New Greater Raleigh YL leaders!!!

Athens Drive YL team!

3 years to 3 days

This is the week. In three days I find out where I will be leading Young Life for the next three and a half years. The count down started three years ago. The moment the two weird college strangers stepped onto Middle Creek high school's campus, sat down and watched my lacrosse practice. I had no idea who they were and no idea why in the world they were coming to watch us...middle creek girl's lacrosse...run around a field acting like we knew what we were doing. But they showed up, time after time at Middle Creek, poured into me and my friends, loved us, spent time with us, encouraged us, showed us how to live a life for Jesus. I knew something was different about Emily and Liza, I wanted to do whatever they did, I wanted to have the joy that they had, I wanted to live life like they lived life, I wanted to follow them. So that's what I did. I followed Liza and Emily to campaigners, to YL club, and to YL camp-where my life was changed. I'm beyond thankful that the Lord chose them to usher me to the feet of Jesus, to show me how to live a life for the Kingdom, and how to love others unconditionally. I figured it out. Jesus was inside of them, they leaked Jesus wherever they went. I wanted that. So I began to run after and follow Jesus and they never left my side along the way. They are two of my best friends and now I get to follow in their footsteps and lead high school girls to the King. Wow.

The past few weeks have been filled with anticipation, wondering what school I will be placed at and wondering what lies ahead. It's been hard not trying to see myself at certain schools, or picking and choosing where I would want to be. But it's not my plan, it's the Lord's plan and sometimes that is hard to trust.

[Acts 20:24 the msg]

I'm completely in the dark about what will happen when I get there. I do know that it won't be a picnic, for the Holy Spirit has let me know repeatedly and clearly that there are hard times and imprisonment ahead. But that matters little. What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant grace of God.

What boldness and selflessness Paul has. I am to consider my life nothing in comparison to spreading the Gospel. The Lord has set me apart. He has chosen me. He has chosen a school for me. A school that is full of brokenness. I'm on a mission to be bold and to pour out grace, love and truth. He has hand picked this school for me all for His glory. No matter the school I get, I pray that my heart will overflow with thankfulness and that I will fall to my knees in praise. What an honor that I'm on a mission for the Creator of this universe. What matters most is that I will live my life to finish the race that He started. I will trust in knowing that He has gone before me and that His plan is beyond perfect. That He delivers. I will cling to Him. Tightly. Never letting go, never losing sight of Him.

I'm ready and I am so STOKED to get the chance to do what Liza & Emily did for me in high school. There's a post to follow on the school I get placed at & what my next 3 and a half years will look like!

h o m e

I'm thankful for rest. 

I'm thankful for waking up to the sun rather than an alarm clock.

I'm thankful for quiet times on my porch.

I'm thankful for laying in my bed as long as I want, digging into the Lord's word.

I'm thankful for a good book.

I'm thankful for my mom's cooking.

I'm thankful for my family.

I'm thankful for honest, sweet, grace filled conversations with friends.

I'm thankful for the place I get to call home. 

My first semester in college I feel like I have constantly been on the go, never stopping. I've never been one for just sitting around. I was just running through the motions of my set and planned out days. [class-quiet time-coffee-class-lunch-class-homework-YL/bible study/babysitting-dinner-sleep]. It was all rushed, only to reach the next thing on the list. Even my times with the Lord, I felt like were rushed & I didn't truly take time to be still in His presence. Being home, forcing myself to rest, to be still, not always on the go and soaking in my time with Jesus has allowed me to open my eyes. To open my eyes and to realize what the Lord has been teaching my these past few months and how I have grown. I'm so grateful for this time and the ways it's taught me to slow down.

Being Christmas season, there is still a lot of presents to be bought, lights to be seen, friends to catch up with, books to be read, pictures to be taken, and so much more. But I'm stepping back and rejoicing in the birth that turned this world upside down. The birth of the One who came for me and for you. Jesus Christ. Born in a stable, from a teenage girl. Not an extravagant anything. A stable. So that we now walk with God, because Jesus Christ was born. Wow. That is Christmas season. I will delight and rest in knowing that Jesus came as Emmanuel. God with us.

I can't keep quiet about You.

"I could care less about evidence and proof and assurances. I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way the sunlight amuses itself on water."

I'm on fire. I'm on fire for a King who created the entire universe, yet knows me and calls me by my name. For a King who loves me with a deeper love than I could ever imagine. How could I ever sit back and keep quiet about the One who volunteered to die for me, who took on my brokenness, my pride, my self-righteousness, my envy. Everything. I caused His death, yet He wants me to lay everything at His feet, to give it all to Him. WHAT? It doesn't make sense. How do we manage to go through life and just skim by this.

I've come to realize it more and more in college. How many broken people, just like myself, walk on this campus. Who I pass by every single day. Some who will never get to hear of this incredible love story, who will fill themselves with things that will not satisfy them, that will make them even more empty. He has called me, Sarah, to rise up, to GO.

{Isaiah 43:1}

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you, Sarah;

I have summoned you, Sarah;

Sarah you are mine.

{Isaiah 61:1}

The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me,

for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.

He has sent me to comfort the broken hearted

and to proclaim that captives will be released,

prisoners will be freed.

Today I have my interview to become a Young Life leader. To have the opportunity to do just what two of my leaders, now best friends did for me in high school. To enter into high schoolers lives and to live life with them. And along the way, to share the Gospel with them. Sharing that they are loved and chosen by Christ. That they are known and named by Christ. That they are fearless and safe in Christ. That they are brave, always with Christ. I can't keep quiet about Him. I'm overflowing with His joy and want nothing more to pour that joy and love into other people, so that they too can experience the richness of a life with the King.

Gentle whisper

Every morning I wake up, every night I go to bed. I'm checking Instagram. It's ridiculous how much control an app that consists of double taping pictures has over my life. "How many likes did it get, she has so many followers, should I put this picture up?" A conversation I think I literally have weekly with friends. We are surrounded by it constantly, we begin to compare and envy the lives of others by the 2 by 2 picture we see on our screen.

I read an article a while back, [http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/have-our-phones-changed-way-we-pray] and just recently read it again. It's entitled "Have Our Phones Changed the Way We Pray?" The title alone caught my attention as well as these quotes:

"As I integrate more and more social media into my daily routine, I find it increasingly difficult to clear my thoughts and focus on one subject."

"Are our phones and social media killing our patience? Are they changing our conversations with one another and God?"

How could I let myself spend more time scrolling through pictures than spending time and talking to the Creator of the universe. I constantly struggle with being patient in my quiet times and giving my full and focused attention to the Lord. My thoughts jump from thanking Him and praying to seek His face to wondering what was in that picture, what I'm going to do today, what happened yesterday, and anything but the scripture I'm reading. In the article there was an example of where God challenges Elijah to resist distractions and to seek out His gentle whisper.

[1 Kings 19:11-13]

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Just like Elijah's distractions of mountains, wind, earthquakes and fires I too find myself constantly trying to run from distractions of comparison and envy of others in order to fully focus on the King. It's exhausting. To know that when I let my mind continuously wander, I'm missing out on hearing the gentle whisper of a God who seeks me day in and day out.

So...

On Friday I decided to delete Instagram for a week- the fact that this is going to be such a big challenge for me is honestly somewhat embarrassing. Instead of rolling over in the morning and refreshing the feed of pictures, I pray. I pick certain people the night before and that morning I pray for them before I start my day. In just two days I have already noticed a difference in my conversations and spending time with other people as well as my time with Jesus. I'm not distracted when I'm spending time with my friends, I know that I'm fully listening to their stories and anything they have to talk about. I am actually being intentional in the time spent with my friends instead of constantly looking down at my phone. My quiet times are so much sweeter. I'm not rushing through so that I can pull out my phone and look to see what people are up to. I'm so much more focused in on the truth I'm reading and just being still in soaking up every bit of what the Lord is pouring into me and pouring right back into Him.

My point in this isn't that Instagram and social media are a good or bad thing, it's that I for one need a lot less of it in my life. My hope is that by the end of the week, I can learn to limit the amount of time I spend on it and focus more on the gentle whisper of the Lord.

Be Bold

Basically...yesterday was crazy.

Me and my friend, Candice (coolest person in THE world) were hanging out and decided to venture into a warehouse-looking coffee shop, that sits perfectly with an incredible view of the downtown Raleigh skyline. This place is not your regular coffee shop. I don't think it was technically even open for business. But we went in anyways. It's awesome inside, burlap everywhere, photography on the walls, old rustic window frames, a big yellow coffee roaster, the greatest smell you have ever smelled. As we were looking around we began to read the backs of the coffee bags and the news article framed on the wall. This business, Oak City Coffee Roasters and the guy that runs it is all about compassion. Read their website and you'll know what I mean. http://www.oakcityroasters.com/about-oc

We knew there was something different about this place and this guy. Candice said "Alright this guy has gotta love Jesus." First off, I'm so encouraged by Candice, her boldness and how she loves on people. Candice started to talk to him and figure out what he was about. As soon as he handed us a bag of coffee labeled 'the good Shepard' we knew. And sure enough...he LOVED Jesus. I mean like the most Godly man I have ever encountered. He lead us to some chairs in the shop, and he shared parts of his life with us. He shared his vision for his company, in loving and praying over the city of Raleigh, he shared stories of how the Lord has worked in his life. I sat in awe listening to the wisdom pour out of this man's mouth.

The connections our new friend, Bill and Candice were making were INSANE. Turns out, he goes and walks and prays over the same streets where Candice does ministry with Urban Young Life. Like what?! The other day, Candice mentioned wanting to start playing some shows but didn't know where she was going to play. Bill was talking about needing someone who sang/played music to come play on First Friday and I literally kicked Candice in the foot. They made plans and now Candice is playing there in November. I mean dang Jesus is BIG in the ways He works.

We got the pleasure of spending an hour with this guy and just listening. Listening to how he felt called in life and how he is shining Jesus' light throughout Raleigh.

Isaiah 58: 7-9 [the message]

What I’m interested in seeing you do is:

    sharing your food with the hungry,

    inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

    putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

    being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,

    and your lives will turn around at once.

Your righteousness will pave your way.

    The God of glory will secure your passage.

Then when you pray, God will answer.

    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

Jesus, 

I want to be bold. I want to love like you love. Everyday I encounter everyone of your beloved children. I'm looking into the flesh of You. I don't want to miss the opportunity. The opportunity to spread Your grace and Your love. Allow me to open my heart to them and to ask the questions that others are too busy or too scared to ask. To be bold and to be intentional. There's a fire in my heart for You and for people Jesus. Allow me to truly grasp that we are all your beloveds. I want to want to know other people, I want to want to love other people. I want to love people like You love people. Grant me a heart like Yours Jesus. Grant me eyes like Yours, to see them as absolutely precious. I want to make a change in the world for Your glory. I want to leave the comfortable and venture into the uncomfortable. To be in a place where I have to be unconditionally, completely dependent on You. I want to be stripped of worldly things. Wherever Your will takes me, I want to go. I mean I really want to go. I know it's easier said than done. But with You as my constant, right by my side, I know that I can do it. Break me Jesus. Break me of my pride and my self entitled faith. Humble my heart. This life is not about me. Allow me to read the tough scripture and to literally act upon it. To take the homeless into my house, to feed the poor. I'm so used to only loving on people who already love me. What is the good in that. I want to love people who have never seen nor heard my name. I want to love the ones that are hard to love, the ones who don't love me. "I want, I want, I want." You're probably saying to me, "Then go Sarah, go and do those things, don't say you want to do them and just sit around. Don't make the excuse of you're young, or you're shy, or 'not right now'. Go and do them. Get up. Change your city, love your city. And I'll be there right beside you." 

These past few weeks so many thoughts have been running through my head. "Am I doing this right?" "Is this how it's suppose to look?" "I should probably do this, I should probably do that." But that's not what it's about. It's about each morning when I wake up, to pray to be made more in Your likeness. To go out that day and to love people, to love them like You would love them. I'm broken and I'm going to fail. But You make me new and You wrap me in Your arms.