h o m e

I'm thankful for rest. 

I'm thankful for waking up to the sun rather than an alarm clock.

I'm thankful for quiet times on my porch.

I'm thankful for laying in my bed as long as I want, digging into the Lord's word.

I'm thankful for a good book.

I'm thankful for my mom's cooking.

I'm thankful for my family.

I'm thankful for honest, sweet, grace filled conversations with friends.

I'm thankful for the place I get to call home. 

My first semester in college I feel like I have constantly been on the go, never stopping. I've never been one for just sitting around. I was just running through the motions of my set and planned out days. [class-quiet time-coffee-class-lunch-class-homework-YL/bible study/babysitting-dinner-sleep]. It was all rushed, only to reach the next thing on the list. Even my times with the Lord, I felt like were rushed & I didn't truly take time to be still in His presence. Being home, forcing myself to rest, to be still, not always on the go and soaking in my time with Jesus has allowed me to open my eyes. To open my eyes and to realize what the Lord has been teaching my these past few months and how I have grown. I'm so grateful for this time and the ways it's taught me to slow down.

Being Christmas season, there is still a lot of presents to be bought, lights to be seen, friends to catch up with, books to be read, pictures to be taken, and so much more. But I'm stepping back and rejoicing in the birth that turned this world upside down. The birth of the One who came for me and for you. Jesus Christ. Born in a stable, from a teenage girl. Not an extravagant anything. A stable. So that we now walk with God, because Jesus Christ was born. Wow. That is Christmas season. I will delight and rest in knowing that Jesus came as Emmanuel. God with us.

I can't keep quiet about You.

"I could care less about evidence and proof and assurances. I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way the sunlight amuses itself on water."

I'm on fire. I'm on fire for a King who created the entire universe, yet knows me and calls me by my name. For a King who loves me with a deeper love than I could ever imagine. How could I ever sit back and keep quiet about the One who volunteered to die for me, who took on my brokenness, my pride, my self-righteousness, my envy. Everything. I caused His death, yet He wants me to lay everything at His feet, to give it all to Him. WHAT? It doesn't make sense. How do we manage to go through life and just skim by this.

I've come to realize it more and more in college. How many broken people, just like myself, walk on this campus. Who I pass by every single day. Some who will never get to hear of this incredible love story, who will fill themselves with things that will not satisfy them, that will make them even more empty. He has called me, Sarah, to rise up, to GO.

{Isaiah 43:1}

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you, Sarah;

I have summoned you, Sarah;

Sarah you are mine.

{Isaiah 61:1}

The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me,

for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.

He has sent me to comfort the broken hearted

and to proclaim that captives will be released,

prisoners will be freed.

Today I have my interview to become a Young Life leader. To have the opportunity to do just what two of my leaders, now best friends did for me in high school. To enter into high schoolers lives and to live life with them. And along the way, to share the Gospel with them. Sharing that they are loved and chosen by Christ. That they are known and named by Christ. That they are fearless and safe in Christ. That they are brave, always with Christ. I can't keep quiet about Him. I'm overflowing with His joy and want nothing more to pour that joy and love into other people, so that they too can experience the richness of a life with the King.

Gentle whisper

Every morning I wake up, every night I go to bed. I'm checking Instagram. It's ridiculous how much control an app that consists of double taping pictures has over my life. "How many likes did it get, she has so many followers, should I put this picture up?" A conversation I think I literally have weekly with friends. We are surrounded by it constantly, we begin to compare and envy the lives of others by the 2 by 2 picture we see on our screen.

I read an article a while back, [http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/have-our-phones-changed-way-we-pray] and just recently read it again. It's entitled "Have Our Phones Changed the Way We Pray?" The title alone caught my attention as well as these quotes:

"As I integrate more and more social media into my daily routine, I find it increasingly difficult to clear my thoughts and focus on one subject."

"Are our phones and social media killing our patience? Are they changing our conversations with one another and God?"

How could I let myself spend more time scrolling through pictures than spending time and talking to the Creator of the universe. I constantly struggle with being patient in my quiet times and giving my full and focused attention to the Lord. My thoughts jump from thanking Him and praying to seek His face to wondering what was in that picture, what I'm going to do today, what happened yesterday, and anything but the scripture I'm reading. In the article there was an example of where God challenges Elijah to resist distractions and to seek out His gentle whisper.

[1 Kings 19:11-13]

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Just like Elijah's distractions of mountains, wind, earthquakes and fires I too find myself constantly trying to run from distractions of comparison and envy of others in order to fully focus on the King. It's exhausting. To know that when I let my mind continuously wander, I'm missing out on hearing the gentle whisper of a God who seeks me day in and day out.

So...

On Friday I decided to delete Instagram for a week- the fact that this is going to be such a big challenge for me is honestly somewhat embarrassing. Instead of rolling over in the morning and refreshing the feed of pictures, I pray. I pick certain people the night before and that morning I pray for them before I start my day. In just two days I have already noticed a difference in my conversations and spending time with other people as well as my time with Jesus. I'm not distracted when I'm spending time with my friends, I know that I'm fully listening to their stories and anything they have to talk about. I am actually being intentional in the time spent with my friends instead of constantly looking down at my phone. My quiet times are so much sweeter. I'm not rushing through so that I can pull out my phone and look to see what people are up to. I'm so much more focused in on the truth I'm reading and just being still in soaking up every bit of what the Lord is pouring into me and pouring right back into Him.

My point in this isn't that Instagram and social media are a good or bad thing, it's that I for one need a lot less of it in my life. My hope is that by the end of the week, I can learn to limit the amount of time I spend on it and focus more on the gentle whisper of the Lord.

Be Bold

Basically...yesterday was crazy.

Me and my friend, Candice (coolest person in THE world) were hanging out and decided to venture into a warehouse-looking coffee shop, that sits perfectly with an incredible view of the downtown Raleigh skyline. This place is not your regular coffee shop. I don't think it was technically even open for business. But we went in anyways. It's awesome inside, burlap everywhere, photography on the walls, old rustic window frames, a big yellow coffee roaster, the greatest smell you have ever smelled. As we were looking around we began to read the backs of the coffee bags and the news article framed on the wall. This business, Oak City Coffee Roasters and the guy that runs it is all about compassion. Read their website and you'll know what I mean. http://www.oakcityroasters.com/about-oc

We knew there was something different about this place and this guy. Candice said "Alright this guy has gotta love Jesus." First off, I'm so encouraged by Candice, her boldness and how she loves on people. Candice started to talk to him and figure out what he was about. As soon as he handed us a bag of coffee labeled 'the good Shepard' we knew. And sure enough...he LOVED Jesus. I mean like the most Godly man I have ever encountered. He lead us to some chairs in the shop, and he shared parts of his life with us. He shared his vision for his company, in loving and praying over the city of Raleigh, he shared stories of how the Lord has worked in his life. I sat in awe listening to the wisdom pour out of this man's mouth.

The connections our new friend, Bill and Candice were making were INSANE. Turns out, he goes and walks and prays over the same streets where Candice does ministry with Urban Young Life. Like what?! The other day, Candice mentioned wanting to start playing some shows but didn't know where she was going to play. Bill was talking about needing someone who sang/played music to come play on First Friday and I literally kicked Candice in the foot. They made plans and now Candice is playing there in November. I mean dang Jesus is BIG in the ways He works.

We got the pleasure of spending an hour with this guy and just listening. Listening to how he felt called in life and how he is shining Jesus' light throughout Raleigh.

Isaiah 58: 7-9 [the message]

What I’m interested in seeing you do is:

    sharing your food with the hungry,

    inviting the homeless poor into your homes,

    putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,

    being available to your own families.

Do this and the lights will turn on,

    and your lives will turn around at once.

Your righteousness will pave your way.

    The God of glory will secure your passage.

Then when you pray, God will answer.

    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

Jesus, 

I want to be bold. I want to love like you love. Everyday I encounter everyone of your beloved children. I'm looking into the flesh of You. I don't want to miss the opportunity. The opportunity to spread Your grace and Your love. Allow me to open my heart to them and to ask the questions that others are too busy or too scared to ask. To be bold and to be intentional. There's a fire in my heart for You and for people Jesus. Allow me to truly grasp that we are all your beloveds. I want to want to know other people, I want to want to love other people. I want to love people like You love people. Grant me a heart like Yours Jesus. Grant me eyes like Yours, to see them as absolutely precious. I want to make a change in the world for Your glory. I want to leave the comfortable and venture into the uncomfortable. To be in a place where I have to be unconditionally, completely dependent on You. I want to be stripped of worldly things. Wherever Your will takes me, I want to go. I mean I really want to go. I know it's easier said than done. But with You as my constant, right by my side, I know that I can do it. Break me Jesus. Break me of my pride and my self entitled faith. Humble my heart. This life is not about me. Allow me to read the tough scripture and to literally act upon it. To take the homeless into my house, to feed the poor. I'm so used to only loving on people who already love me. What is the good in that. I want to love people who have never seen nor heard my name. I want to love the ones that are hard to love, the ones who don't love me. "I want, I want, I want." You're probably saying to me, "Then go Sarah, go and do those things, don't say you want to do them and just sit around. Don't make the excuse of you're young, or you're shy, or 'not right now'. Go and do them. Get up. Change your city, love your city. And I'll be there right beside you." 

These past few weeks so many thoughts have been running through my head. "Am I doing this right?" "Is this how it's suppose to look?" "I should probably do this, I should probably do that." But that's not what it's about. It's about each morning when I wake up, to pray to be made more in Your likeness. To go out that day and to love people, to love them like You would love them. I'm broken and I'm going to fail. But You make me new and You wrap me in Your arms. 

Missing home

3 months ago I started what was the absolute hardest yet most rewarding month of my life, I began the sweetest friendships that will last for a lifetime and I experienced one of the most filling, enriching times with my walk with the Lord. This past summer I left for a month to serve on work crew at a Young Life camp in Florida. Hands down the greatest month of my life. Leaving my mom and friends in Raleigh at the airport that morning was scary, especially being the homebody that I am. I clung to the Lord that whole flight there, praying that He would prepare my heart for the hard work, homesickness and friendships that I was going to encounter in the next 4 weeks. I knew the Lord had some big things coming for me, but little did I know how incredibly BIG these "things" were going to be.

The community I got to be apart of at Southwind is indescribable. The people I served side by side with everyday were without a doubt my best friends. We treated each other like we had known one another for a lifetime. We stayed up way too late, laughed an absurd amount, goofed off way too much, encouraged and loved each other with all of our heart and worshipped the Lord with all of our strength.

I got to experience Jesus in a way I have never experienced Him before. The work was tiring, without clinging to the Lord there would have been absolute no way I could've made it through that month. It was tiring but worth it. Worth it to serve precious middle schoolers who were hearing the Gospel, getting loved on harder than they had ever been loved on, and having the best time of their lives. 

Every night I think about this family. I miss waking up with them all by my side. I miss worshipping with them. I miss talking about Jesus with them. I miss laughing with them, eating meals with them. Cleaning, serving and living life with them. I miss our inside jokes, I miss the night there were millions of bugs in our room, I miss the nights when the lights weren't off til 1am, the nights when the conversations never seemed to end. 

Knowing I have a group of people who pray for me everyday of my life, and that I pray for everyday is indescribable. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about them. That month I learned to seek out a heart like Jesus' every single day. To love on people with a compassionate, genuine heart that is full of a desire for them to know Him. 

[1 Thessalonians 2:8]

Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. 

Superwoman

Happy happy birthday to my mom. Hands down the most selfless person I know. The way you love and encourage Dad, Dylan, Kell and I so well has had a bigger impact on me than you can ever imagine. Your heart is full of joy, patience, gentleness, and kindness. I'm encouraged everyday by the way you put others always before yourself. Thankful for the way you push us to do our best, and comfort us when we fall down. You keep our chaotic lives together and teach us to cherish family more than anything. You're our rock. Today is your day and I can not wait to spend it with you. I hope you feel celebrated today Mom, you deserve the world for all that you do for us! Love you more than you'll ever know.

            

 
                 

                                

Death to Life

Sunday was a GOOD day. Sunday I was submerged in the greatness of Jesus. Sunday I took a big step in obedience to His commands. With my friends right by my side, I went from death to life. I was baptized at Vintage church and it was the greatest experience of my life. 

Jesus makes me alive. He takes my broken, sinful heart and transforms it. I am a daughter of the King and the least I can do is live my life for the One who gave His life for me. I desperately thirst for the wisdom, grace and love of Jesus and that thirst can simply never be quenched.  I didn't do it for myself. I didn't do it to gain the approval of Jesus. I did it because I was ready. I was ready to surrender and to give it all to Him. With a lot prayer, and a lot of encouragement from the people who know me best I made the decision. I'm never turning back. I'm running straight into the arms of my Savior. 

[Colossians 2:12] the message."No, you’re already in—insiders—not through some secretive initiation rite but rather through what Christ has already gone through for you, destroying the power of sin. If it’s an initiation ritual you’re after, you’ve already been through it by submitting to baptism. Going under the water was a burial of your old life; coming up out of it was a resurrection, God raising you from the dead as he did Christ. When you were stuck in your old sin-dead life, you were incapable of responding to God. God brought you alive—right along with Christ! Think of it! All sins forgiven, the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant canceled and nailed to Christ’s cross."

So far

On to my 3rd week of college and I am absolutely LOVING it. NC State is most definitely where I was meant to be. I have fallen more in love with Raleigh and the Wolfpack in the last three weeks than I ever have before. Classes are starting to become more challenging-but I'm keeping up with my work and actually enjoying it! I have found the greatest community of friends who are so similar to me, we all have so much fun together. It's hard to sum up the past three weeks but I'm gonna give it a shot. 



YL College. By far my favorite part of college so far. Young Life is a ministry that reaches out to middle school, high school, and college kids to share the love of Jesus and to have a blast while doing it. I was really involved with Young Life in high school and am SO excited to be a part of it in college. Every Tuesday night we have club, which mostly consists of skits, games, songs, and the Gospel. The leaders are awesome, the people are awesome, basically it's all awesome. 

First NC State YL club! 

Beyond.   Aside from YL Club, every Wednesday night we have what is known as "Beyond". It's a time to go deeper into the Word, gain insight on what it's going to be like becoming a YL leader, and just a great time of fellowship with new friends. This past week we were challenged to find an accountability partner and to start encouraging each other in walking with the Lord. 

   My partner, Cat is so awesome. She's from Ohio, loves Jesus, wears Chacos, hangs in an eno, and loves YL. We decided to memorize a verse each week and go through a She Reads Truth devotional together. She Reads Truth deserves a blog post on it's own. It's an online devotional that has made more walk with the Lord so much stronger over the past year. They have a multitude of different plans that are laid out on a day to day basis. So helpful. 

   Cat and I are doing the 'Prayer in the Bible' plan and so far it is great. After we each do it on our own we send each other a text with our response, or really just anything that really stuck out to us. It's so encouraging to have someone that can hold me accountable. Last week we memorized Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit". This week we are working on memorizing Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Sweet truth. I'm so pumped to become a YL leader and to continue to be apart of this awesome community. 

Birthdays. We celebrated two of my best friends birthday's last week, which was so fun. Mego turned 19 and Liza turned 23! Liza's roomies had us over for dinner and just to hang at their house. We told stories...lots of stories and laughed a lot. Which both made for an awesome night. We celebrated Mego's by of course her favorite restaurant- Bad Daddy's, SO good. And then headed to YL club. 

Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors came to Raleigh!! It was hands down the best concert I've ever been to of theirs. They never fail at putting on a great show. A bunch of YL girls grabbed dinner together and then headed to the concert. 

Homies at Chipotle 

Carley & Kellza

Great pic taken by Kellza! 

Got to see my best friend from Greenville, MORGZ!

Go pack. NC State had their first game of the season on Saturday! It was a 12pm game aka the hottest time of the day...it was blazing, literally. My friends, Carley and Hannah and I left at 8am, thinking the lines would be long to get in. Rookie mistake. We were the first ones at the gate and waited at least two hours until we were allowed to go in. We were struggling big time in the heat. By the second quarter we were already sunburnt. We chugged water like it was the last drink of our life. We only made it to half time, but on the plus side the Wolfpack pulled out a win of 40-14 over Louisiana Tech. Even though it was scorching, I had such a great time cheering on my favorite team in my favorite stadium. 

These last 3 weeks have been some of the most fun times of my life. I can't wait to see what the next 4 years are like and the memories I get to create. Thankful. 

Fab 4

  From kindergarten and now through college. I have had my three best friends by my side for 14 years and counting. I could not do life without them. We know and love each other so so so well. We know when to joke hard, the right things to say, and when to just listen. Whether it's making fun of one another, discussing our future families, or going to Chick-Fil-A just because. I have the best time and find the most joy when I'm with them. I would do anything for these girls. I am so grateful to know that they will always be here for me no matter what. 

Kelly aka Kellza

   Alexis started the nickname "Kellza" a few years ago and man has it stuck. My mom and dad even refer to her as Kellza! We look at each other funny if anyone actually calls Kelly...Kelly. I have SO much love for Kellza. I look up to her in so many ways. She is the most "go with the flow" person I have ever met. When I'm stressed out or worried she encourages me to just slow down. Having my best friend by my side since day 1 is something I will be forever thankful for. Kellza loves Nutella, I mean LOVES Nutella. It is never unusual to walk into Mego's house and find Kellza eating Nutella with a spoon- straight out of the jar. She is always the one to suggest that we should do "something crazy" which usually means embarrassing ourselves. She doesn't care what others thinks, Kellza just does her. Whether she's running around target...literally running or riding around BJ's inside the grocery cart. She is such a free spirit and that is what I love so much about Kellza. 

Alexis aka Sunshine

   Sunshine! The tiniest, most joyful person you will EVER meet. Alexis has lived 3 doors down from Kellza and I for 13 years. I'm so glad that even in college she is still right up the road. Being around Sunshine never fails to brighten my day. It is hard to ever be sad when she's around.  Our entire friendship, I have never seen her get angry towards any of her friends. I don't know how she does it, but she puts up with me and Kelly's arguing like a champ. She loves people so well. Sunshine loves a lot of things. Especially M&Ms. She has convinced me that each M&M differs in taste based on it's color. Hard to believe, but if anyone would know it would be her. She will always be a little kid at heart.

Megan aka Mego

Where to even start with Mego. Mego is hands down the funniest person I know, and I know most would agree with me. Mego has always encouraged me to let go and to just live. She will do absolutely any dare (not sure if that's good or bad). Either way, if Mego is in the room, people are laughing. Her passion for people and life is so evident in everything she does. She loves and encourages us 3 so well. If we're down, Mego will bring us up. I am absolutely convinced Mego and the actress Melissa McCarthy are the same exact person. If you've seen Bridesmaids or The Heat...then you've seen exactly what Mego is like. I'm telling you- funniest person EVER. I think the world definitely needs a few more Mego's! 

Same person...literally. 

I absolutely adore these girls and couldn't imagine being without them. I can not wait to experience the rest of our lives together, side by side! Fab 4 for lyfe. 

Why 'Coram Deo'?

I stumbled across the phrase 'Coram Deo' about a year ago and I am absolutely in love with it. It's a latin phrase that is translated to "in the presence of God". "To live Coram Deo is to live one’s entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God." I love this because it is something I am striving for every single day. To live for the Lord and only for the Lord. To give Him the glory in absolutely everything I do. I'm living under the sovereignty of a mighty God who is always by my side. Coram Deo is the most spirit filled, incredible vision of a Christian life. 

[Colossians 3:17] the message. 
"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way."

Not only these next 4 years of my college journey, but for the rest of my life I want to live coram deo. I want to flaunt Jesus' incredible love to those around me and to serve Him harder than I did the day before. And do it all for the honor and glory of the King. Whether it's spending time with people when it's inconvenient for me, loving on my family and friends even when I am frustrated with them, truly listening to others and taking a genuine interest in them, forgiving, serving and putting others before myself. And when I fail, because I will, I will seek out His grace. 

I thought this would be a perfect name for my blog!