The dream

In about four months I will get to call this place home for an entire summer. I am beyond humbled & grateful for the opportunity to be a summer intern in the kitchen at Crooked Creek Ranch.

Young Life camping has changed my life since the moment I first laid eyes on Sharp Top Cove in Georgia the summer after my sophomore year in high school. I fell head over heels in love with Jesus and my life was changed at YL Camp. The summer after my senior year of high school I spent a month at Southwind in Florida serving on work crew. The summer after my freshman year of college I spent a month at Crooked Creek serving on summer staff. And now I have the privilege to do it again this summer. All. Summer. Long.

I like to think that YL camp is the real world. The life that Jesus intended us to live. Life that is full to the brim and overflowing with joy, laughter, awe, wonder, gratefulness, and love. I get to come along side of Jesus and work at a place that's greatest joy is to set up encounters for the Gospel to enter in and for the Kingdom of heaven to beautifully collide with this earth. And that is what changes high schooler and middle schooler's lives. Everything is pointing back to Jesus. What a freaking HONOR to be apart of God's mission and the mighty work He is going to do at Crooked Creek this summer.

Each time I think about the privilege of heading to Colorado this summer my heart starts to beat faster and my stomach starts to get that "so excited i'm gonna barf" feeling. I mean I am SO PUMPED. I am praying praying praying that the Lord would begin to prepare my heart for those months of hard work in the kitchen, for leading summer staff & work crew with grace and strength, for living in deep community with other interns, for obedience in being in His word & consistently praying for the kids and areas that will be coming to Crooked Creek.

134 days. But I mean, who's counting?

Romans 8:14-17 

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, fearful life. 

It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike, "What's next, Papa?"

God's spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are, God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 

This life

This life is sweet. I mean really really really sweet. These past few weeks I've been reminded of just how abundant life with Jesus is. 

I gave my first Young Life talk to my Athens friends who I have come to love so so so much. 

I spent a month with no social media & no TV where I experienced a prayer life that I never have before. Refreshing. 

I got to sit in awe at the back of a garage while I listened to my sister share the Gospel to high schoolers. Chills. 

I got to spend a weekend in the paradise they call Young Life camp with some of my favorite people. 

And I just returned from one of the coolest cities--Nashville with some of my favorite friends. 

A whole lot of joy. As my friend Maria said, "life man...it'll get ya."

But, I've also been wrestling with a few things these past few months. 

Why do I constantly depend on others to give me an identity? Why do I continue to see myself through their eyes? Why do I put so much of an overwhelming amount of my worth into friendships? 

These are questions that have flooded my thoughts for the past year but especially the past few months. I sat for so long in these thoughts, in this guilt, staring it right in the face. Hoping it would just fade away. I was starting to focus so much on wondering why my own thoughts were controlling me. Praying that the Lord would just take it away. 

WHEN HELLO

He's set me free. It's not--"maybe one day He'll set me free". He HAS set me free. His mercies are new each and every morning. It's not about how hard I try to change myself. It's about JESUS graciously redeeming me, making me new, molding me more and more to be like Him. 

Well, Sarah, are you going to turn? Or are you going to continue to sit and stare  your mistakes and your broken thoughts in the face. And hope that maybe one day they'll go away? Stop soaking in that. Rather soak yourself in ME, and what I say is true. 

I am WILD for you.

I DELIGHT in you. 

I DEFINE you. 

I SET YOU FREE. 

every.single.day.

Am I going to continue to go back to where it's comfortable? The pit of dwelling in my guilt? Where my thoughts consume and take control of me? OR am I going to grab the hand that is waiving in my face to pull me out of that pit? Will I run wildly to Jesus and His freedom? 

Sometimes I picture the Lord almost giggling at me and the amount of attention I focus on "what's wrong with me". I picture Him scooping me up and saying:

Wake up, Sarah! Can't you see that I absolutely adore you. That I enjoy YOU? 

You're silly for letting other things define you. 

Would you just get up and run to me? 

Would you stop trying to please others and trust that I'm enough? 

Would you reclaim your identity as an absolutely beloved daughter of the King?

So, I'm walking in that. Yeah, it's a breeze to type out on a silly blogpost. But it's real hard to live it out and to truly believe it. And the beauty of it is, Jesus is doing the work through me. I don't have to pull myself out of the pit on my own. 

What I do know is that

I'm His daughter.

I'm His sheep. He's my shepherd. 

And I need reminding of that--day in and day out. 

Adventure, joys, pruning & growing with Jesus. That's what makes this life sweet. 

{Romans 8:14-17}

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, fearful life.

It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike, "What's next, Papa?"

God's spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are, God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 

This month.

I'm not a cryer...but today I found myself weeping in the car; missing the paradise I have been calling home the past month and frustrated with the thought of having to go back to the "normal". I tell you this not for a pity party, but to give you a glimpse of how much Crooked Creek Ranch grabbed a hold of me this summer. When I embarked on my first flight out of Raleigh en route to Colorado with my best friend, Hannah, I had no idea how much I would fall in love with this place. The people, the first steps out of our cabin, the conversations, the atmosphere RADIATE Jesus the moment you encounter them. Who knew being in a bakery from 5AM-2PM would bring so much life and laughter. Who knew a group of college kids could bond so quickly over one common denominator. Who knew we could make it up a 14,265 foot mountain. Who knew we could kneed close to 1,000 hamburger buns in a couple hours. Who knew a small city in Colorado would steal my heart so quickly. Not me. But, how cool it is to know the Creator of the universe knew. He hand picked me and 49 other people to be at Crooked Creek Ranch, on summer staff, third session, 2014 and to be apart of His mission in bringing high schoolers to the feet of Jesus.

I walked into my summer journey dry-worn out spiritually and emotionally. And I stepped out of summer full to the brim with Jesus, thirsty for conversation with depth, and an eagerness to learn more and more. That's the cool thing about Young Life camp--it's a glimpse of heaven, what real world should look like, a refresher. The hardest part is holding onto the same God that is alive in those mountains and carrying His promises down the mountain with you and back home. 

This month consisted of a lot of learning. Learning how to kneed dough, learning how to make cinnamon rolls, learning when yeast is done rising, learning what it looks like to laugh til it hurts, learning how to pray boldly & learning what real, intentional community really looks like. A couple things really stuck with me that I learned:

1. God has wired each and everyone of us differently. We all have different strengths and different weakness. Different places where we thrive and where we fall. Different goals and different passions. Why try to be someone else when God was ecstatic to create me just the way I am. He created me to be Sarah, not to be a Sarah who strives to be like this person or that person. The day I was born he delighted in growing me to be in HIS image and no one else's. What an honor. 

2. To wake up each morning and pray that the Lord would allow me to see myself as HE sees me and not as the world sees me. To not believe the lies and words that I start to think about myself but to be still enough to really listen to the words that He calls me.

{beautiful, cherished, gentle, playful, confident}

How convinced am I that He calls me Beloved?

What a month. What a place. What a group of people. My hope is to carry these experiences and these truths that I have learned down from the Colorful State and into Raleigh, into Athens Drive High School, and into the lives of those He's put right in front of me.

 I'll definitely be back, Colorado. 

{Isaiah 55:12-13} the msg. 

“So you’ll go out in joy,

    you’ll be led into a whole and complete life.

The mountains and hills will lead the parade,

    bursting with song.

All the trees of the forest will join the procession,

    exuberant with applause.

No more thistles, but giant sequoias,

    no more thornbushes, but stately pines—

Monuments to me, to God,

    living and lasting evidence of God.”

{Gratitude} Tuesday

Lately, I've been thankful for this book. An easy, refreshing summer read filled with whimsical stories & good truths. 

For one of my best friends who is ENGAGED!

For YL camps-week long, weekend or day trips and the way they fill me to the brim with Jesus. 

Spending time with my two best friends. 

For being on the water. 

For the best bar ever invented. Seriously. Try one. 

For soaking in the sun and consistent reminders. 

"Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!"

Ps. 34:8

happy tuesday homies. 

Paradise

For more than 18 years we have been venturing to Bald Head Island for vacations, birthdays & holidays. This summer we planned to go somewhere new for our summer trip, but of course we ended up at BHI...it's pretty hard to venture away from our spot. It's our absolute favorite. The island is calm but still full of stuff to do, it's our type of place. 

We ride on golfcarts with no plans or agenda. We hop on our bikes when we need something from the grocery store. We sleep hard and wake up early. We spend the day laying in the sun, reading, fishing, and napping. We play...a lot. This past trip we had the entire strip of beach to ourselves. Kell and I got out pretty early, I ran and splashed in the tide like I was literally two years old again. I loved every minute of it. We rock on the porch with a book and watch the sunset. We ride the golfcarts with sandy beach hair smacking us in the face...BIG sandy beach hair. We go the day solely on cheese, crackers, apples & grapes because that just seems like the only suitable beach food. We lay around on sandy couches-too lazy and worn out from the sun to even bother to get up and wipe it off. We cook dinner together. We wake up early to the sounds of mom and dad's jokes and cling of coffee mugs. We rest, we relax, we soak it all up. We are together, and that's what I love the most. 

This is paradise. BHI is more than a vacation spot to us, it's where we make our best memories, laugh hard and love each other fully. I love my family, I love our time together and I love our spot. 

{Gratitude} Tuesday

Lately, I've been thankful for the incredible community I have at NC State. 

For quick trips to Asheville. 

For incredible concerts. 

For eno and chaco wearing weather. 

For these girls and that the two gems on the end are going to SHARP TOP COVE this summer. 

 For Western Wake YL. 

For the freedom of turning to the Lord no matter my circumstances. 

"I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift."

happy tuesday homies. 

Abide

My spot.

My eno has easily been my favorite purchase of all time. I'm drawn to my yellow & blue spot- it's comfortable, it's calming, it's simple. It's where I would prefer to spend most of my time. I'd like to think hanging in my eno is a little glimpse of what heaven will be like. 

My time in my spot is precious to me, I read, I journal, I pray, and I read some more. I learn and I grow in that eno. I know that sounds crazy. But really, over the years I have learned and grown in the Lord just solely by being still and listening in that spot. It's me, the outdoors, Jesus and a book. That's it. And that's where I thrive. 

This past week at Athens campaigners we focused on the word 'abide'. 

Abide: to dwell

We discussed the importance of abiding in Jesus, spending time with Him and allowing Him to consume you with the Gospel, his love, his mercy and grace. 

As we abide in Him, He abides in us. And I really believe that that is when His spirit is truly and consistently at work within us. 

Find a spot. Be still and dwell in Jesus, let Him saturate you with the Gospel and let His spirit do mighty work inside of you. 

{Gratitude} Tuesday

    Lately, I've been thankful for this book and the straight truth it's been hittin me with. 

For my YL girls who are literally the coolest.

 

For a much needed, much relaxing spring break with my favorites. 

For this friend, and the constant encouragement she pours onto people. 

 For coffee in rainy Downtown Apex.

For this weather and being able to get out on the water in March.

For stillness. For no social media. And more coffee.


"...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or living in want."
Philippians 4:12

happy tuesday homies

Chosen

My heart beats a little faster when I hear the word "chosen". Sometimes I have to just stop what I'm doing and listen for the Lord to whisper that word into me. 

Sarah,

you 

are 

chosen.

He chose me, He chose my heart to belong to Him. 

I've been reading The Ragamuffin Gospel and my jaw has been dropping page after page.

Get this: 

"If you were to hold out a dime at arm's length while gazing at the night sky, the coin would block out 15 million stars from your view, if your eyes could see with that power."

"The earth's weight has been estimated at six sextillion tons (that's six with twenty-one zeros). Yet it is perfectly balanced and turn easily on its axis."

"We are traveling through space at 19 miles per second or about 68,000 miles per hour."

I mean that is insane. That same all-powerful Creator tells me that I am His and that He chose me.  

Psalm 8

...I look up at your heavens, shaped by your fingers, at the moon and the stars you set firm, what are human beings that you spare a thought for them, or the child of Adam that you care for him?

"We tremble before God's majesty...yet we grow squeamish and skittish before God's love."

When I grow discouraged, I run to the thought of knowing the One who has my heart is the same One who hung those stars in the sky. I run and jump into His arms. Praying that He will hold me close and saturate me with His grace. 

God chose me to spread the Gospel at Athens Drive High School and He never told me it would be easy, but man it's gonna be worth it. He chose me because I was unable, because I am weak. Yet He tells me to get up. He tells me that when I can't hold onto Him, He's still holding onto me. What God started in me He's going to finish. He loves me consistently, He nurtures me consistently and embraces me consistently despite my broken, worn out heart. And in that I will delight and find my hope in. 

{Gratitude} Tuesday

                

Lately, I've been thankful for great weather & spending time in my favorite place.

For raspberry italian sodas from Cup A Joe.

For the chance to watch the Athens lax team kill it in their tournament. 

For watching this sweet old man read to his wife every week at Global Village Coffee.

For John 10:28, I mean DANG straight from Jesus' mouth--we can not be snatched from His hand, we are HIS.

And for m&ms + peanut butter #college.

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." -Ann Voskamp

happy tuesday homies

The Beginning

ATHENS DRIVE HIGH SCHOOL! My new home, the very place God chose for me to pour out to the broken hearted. How EXCITING! It is still unreal that I am officially a Young Life leader. I am jumping into campaigners, club, and contact work and it's coming quick. 

It's scary and it's uncomfortable but what a privilege it is to be able to be included in what God is doing at this school. I've tasted and seen that the Lord is so so good, and I am so urgent for these high school girls to taste and see that the Lord is good. But, I know that it will take time to build relationships with these friends, to earn the right to be trusted by them and the right to be heard. It's a process and it takes effort. 

God brought me from life to death, and yet I still fear that He can't prepare the way for me through this high school. And then I have to stop and I have to remind myself that He absolutely can and will prepare the way for me. He's gone before me into Athens and into the hearts of these girls. There is nothing to fear. I serve a powerful God who can do anything in me. 

I am truly in awe of how the Lord is working in this ministry and I am so stoked to see the mighty work He does through all of these leaders! Excited for this journey and what lies ahead. Go Jags. 

New Greater Raleigh YL leaders!!!

Athens Drive YL team!

3 years to 3 days

This is the week. In three days I find out where I will be leading Young Life for the next three and a half years. The count down started three years ago. The moment the two weird college strangers stepped onto Middle Creek high school's campus, sat down and watched my lacrosse practice. I had no idea who they were and no idea why in the world they were coming to watch us...middle creek girl's lacrosse...run around a field acting like we knew what we were doing. But they showed up, time after time at Middle Creek, poured into me and my friends, loved us, spent time with us, encouraged us, showed us how to live a life for Jesus. I knew something was different about Emily and Liza, I wanted to do whatever they did, I wanted to have the joy that they had, I wanted to live life like they lived life, I wanted to follow them. So that's what I did. I followed Liza and Emily to campaigners, to YL club, and to YL camp-where my life was changed. I'm beyond thankful that the Lord chose them to usher me to the feet of Jesus, to show me how to live a life for the Kingdom, and how to love others unconditionally. I figured it out. Jesus was inside of them, they leaked Jesus wherever they went. I wanted that. So I began to run after and follow Jesus and they never left my side along the way. They are two of my best friends and now I get to follow in their footsteps and lead high school girls to the King. Wow.

The past few weeks have been filled with anticipation, wondering what school I will be placed at and wondering what lies ahead. It's been hard not trying to see myself at certain schools, or picking and choosing where I would want to be. But it's not my plan, it's the Lord's plan and sometimes that is hard to trust.

[Acts 20:24 the msg]

I'm completely in the dark about what will happen when I get there. I do know that it won't be a picnic, for the Holy Spirit has let me know repeatedly and clearly that there are hard times and imprisonment ahead. But that matters little. What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant grace of God.

What boldness and selflessness Paul has. I am to consider my life nothing in comparison to spreading the Gospel. The Lord has set me apart. He has chosen me. He has chosen a school for me. A school that is full of brokenness. I'm on a mission to be bold and to pour out grace, love and truth. He has hand picked this school for me all for His glory. No matter the school I get, I pray that my heart will overflow with thankfulness and that I will fall to my knees in praise. What an honor that I'm on a mission for the Creator of this universe. What matters most is that I will live my life to finish the race that He started. I will trust in knowing that He has gone before me and that His plan is beyond perfect. That He delivers. I will cling to Him. Tightly. Never letting go, never losing sight of Him.

I'm ready and I am so STOKED to get the chance to do what Liza & Emily did for me in high school. There's a post to follow on the school I get placed at & what my next 3 and a half years will look like!