This life

This life is sweet. I mean really really really sweet. These past few weeks I've been reminded of just how abundant life with Jesus is. 

I gave my first Young Life talk to my Athens friends who I have come to love so so so much. 

I spent a month with no social media & no TV where I experienced a prayer life that I never have before. Refreshing. 

I got to sit in awe at the back of a garage while I listened to my sister share the Gospel to high schoolers. Chills. 

I got to spend a weekend in the paradise they call Young Life camp with some of my favorite people. 

And I just returned from one of the coolest cities--Nashville with some of my favorite friends. 

A whole lot of joy. As my friend Maria said, "life man...it'll get ya."

But, I've also been wrestling with a few things these past few months. 

Why do I constantly depend on others to give me an identity? Why do I continue to see myself through their eyes? Why do I put so much of an overwhelming amount of my worth into friendships? 

These are questions that have flooded my thoughts for the past year but especially the past few months. I sat for so long in these thoughts, in this guilt, staring it right in the face. Hoping it would just fade away. I was starting to focus so much on wondering why my own thoughts were controlling me. Praying that the Lord would just take it away. 

WHEN HELLO

He's set me free. It's not--"maybe one day He'll set me free". He HAS set me free. His mercies are new each and every morning. It's not about how hard I try to change myself. It's about JESUS graciously redeeming me, making me new, molding me more and more to be like Him. 

Well, Sarah, are you going to turn? Or are you going to continue to sit and stare  your mistakes and your broken thoughts in the face. And hope that maybe one day they'll go away? Stop soaking in that. Rather soak yourself in ME, and what I say is true. 

I am WILD for you.

I DELIGHT in you. 

I DEFINE you. 

I SET YOU FREE. 

every.single.day.

Am I going to continue to go back to where it's comfortable? The pit of dwelling in my guilt? Where my thoughts consume and take control of me? OR am I going to grab the hand that is waiving in my face to pull me out of that pit? Will I run wildly to Jesus and His freedom? 

Sometimes I picture the Lord almost giggling at me and the amount of attention I focus on "what's wrong with me". I picture Him scooping me up and saying:

Wake up, Sarah! Can't you see that I absolutely adore you. That I enjoy YOU? 

You're silly for letting other things define you. 

Would you just get up and run to me? 

Would you stop trying to please others and trust that I'm enough? 

Would you reclaim your identity as an absolutely beloved daughter of the King?

So, I'm walking in that. Yeah, it's a breeze to type out on a silly blogpost. But it's real hard to live it out and to truly believe it. And the beauty of it is, Jesus is doing the work through me. I don't have to pull myself out of the pit on my own. 

What I do know is that

I'm His daughter.

I'm His sheep. He's my shepherd. 

And I need reminding of that--day in and day out. 

Adventure, joys, pruning & growing with Jesus. That's what makes this life sweet. 

{Romans 8:14-17}

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, fearful life.

It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike, "What's next, Papa?"

God's spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are, God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.