I fall off the boat pretty quick when it comes to keeping up with this blog. So, for that I'm sorry. Life seems to go, go, go lately. But then again when does it not seem like that? I'm grateful that the Lord is constant and that day by day He keeps me grounded. I'm grateful that He is playful in the ways He sends me small glimpses of His consistency throughout the day. These past couple months I have found myself saying over and over and over again, "Man. The Lord is oh so faithful." It makes me want to slam my hands over and over into the ceilings of my car, it makes my voice singing praises to Him want to crack like a 13 year old boy. It makes me want to just run down the street with no where to go, just running and dancing in the street. He is so dang good. Yet I go about each day skipping over giving Him praise, my days are consumed with going, going, going, that I forget. I forget to stop and take a deep hard look at His faithfulness.
I spent last night & today at home. One of my favorite places to be with two of my favorite people; my mom and dad. Life seems to slow down a little when I'm here. And I like that. I thrive off of being with these two. Despite a really hard past couple of days for my mom, despite surgery and doctors appointments they are full of an incredible joy and an incredible way of cherishing every moment of being together. Sometimes I like to just watch them and the way they love one another.
One of their biggest delights is cooking together every week and last night I got to cook with them. I wish each and every one of you could be in the kitchen with them. My dad turns on James Brown or Earth Wind and Fire on his corny little bluetooth speaker, that he is a little too proud of. He calls off the ingredients needed in the recipe, my mom gathers them out of the fridge. They decide who will chop what, who will marinate what, who will stir. They just flow well together and it's the greatest thing ever to watch. They laugh, they joke, they slow life down and enjoy the moment. It's refreshing, it really is. It's in moments like last night that make a grin come over my face and make me think "Jesus is here. He's good and He's faithful." It's good to slow down. It's hard, but it's good.
I spent today trying to do just that. To slow down. I turned my phone turned off for the day. Honestly it's embarrassing how connected I am to my phone throughout the week. It consumes me, as I'm sure it does to most of us. I have to force myself to put it away, and that's what I did today. It was good. Really good. I spent the day trying to be in tune with Jesus with no distractions; lots of reading, lots of writing, lots of sitting in my favorite spot on my porch. There is so much freedom in taking away all distractions. No phone, no group messages, no headphones, no music, no TV, no pictures, no Instagram.
Most of the day was just me, Jesus and the sounds that come from my front yard. One of my favorite things in life might be sitting in the chair on my front porch, with a blanket and just listening to the various noises that are heard from that spot. Birds, lots of birds, the roar of cars coming from Ten-Ten Rd, the often interruption of Bella barking or scratching to sit in my lap, the clinking of someone putting away the dishes in the kitchen. The way the warmth from the sun always seems to hit just the right spot of that chair. I love that spot. I love being with Jesus in that spot. I often wish each person I know could know what it's like to be completely in tune with Jesus on that porch. What I love most is the smack dab front view of the oak tree.
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| the oak tree last winter |
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| the oak tree last summer |
I could stare at it for hours. It grabs me and reminds me of who God is. It's so prominent and strong. It's so grounded by the trunk and the roots. There's so many things that find life in that oak tree, like the bald eagle I saw fly off the top earlier today and the birds nest 7 branches up, and the squirrels that seem to risk suicide playing tag from twig to twig. And every so often there's a branch that's dead and dangles from the tree.
What a representation of who Jesus is and who we are. He is strong, He gives life, He is our base and our strength. He is that trunk, those roots. And we are those branches. Apart from those roots there are no branches. Every so often there is a dangling, about-to-fall-off branch that needs to be cut and pruned from the tree. Just like my heart. What a symbol that oak tree is.
Lord, you are righteous and mighty. May I never take my eyes off or grow apart from You. Each morning I want to crawl into Your lap and I want to intentionally be with You. I want to slow down. I want to ask You each day adventurously and expectantly, "What's next, Abba?". I want to delight in the disciplines and I want to carry that heart of delight wherever I go. I want to smell like You. I want my heart to yearn for those who aren't living a life with You. I want my heart to break for them in a genuine and real way. I want to be vulnerable, I want to confess that I'm broken, I want to share the stuff that really sucks and not just the good stuff with my community. I want to shed light on a whole lot of darkness. You truly are growing and pruning me each day. You are cupping my face in Your hands, turning my face towards You and saying, "Hey Sarah, I got you. I have you. Would you trust me? You are mine. You are my Beloved. Take a breath, slow down from the busyness of life and sit with me."
I want to sing His praises more. I want my voice to crack more. I want to run and dance in delight of Him more. I want to slow down, to cook and listen to September by Earth Wind and Fire with my mom and dad more. I want to put my phone away more and I just want to sit and bask in His goodness and faithfulness. I want to take time to sit and stare at that oak tree and be reminded of Who has me and Who calls me theirs.
